Amazing Bikini

I was shopping with jiahui today when we came across a bikini in NUM in citilink, It was a freaking $220.

I'm wondering whether the thread they use is actually gold.

Funny event

Something miraculous happened today. Someone commented that I'm good looking. Isn't that amazing?

What actually happened was that I was in a shop making a purchase. I was at the cashier waiting for the transaction to be completed. The approval came through and I signed the slip. Next I reached for my items, and the auntie said to me "my colleague thinks you're good looking."

HUH? she had to repeat herself before I was convinced I heard what i heard. In that instance I was thinking of what to do. Then something Gage told me came to mind, "if someone says you're good looking, thank them." and I did.

I walked towards Jiahui and Peifen, Jiahui saw the extended conversation and asked me what happened. I told them. And she told me that she saw the girl hitting her colleague when we left the shop. It must have been pretty embarassing for her. For me? It was more amusing then embarassing.

And the girl was pretty too. A big ego boost.

Your Mind

The human mind is an amazing thing. It is the most efficient data processing system available. It automatically filters out anything that is of no interest to you.

Example: Let's say I'm going to place during winter, my mind knows that I'll need to get winter stuff. The next time I read the newspaper, ads for winter clothings, which I have never noticed before, pops up and grabs my attention.

Isn't that amazing?

Damn

It's raining.

Today seemed to have drained all the happiness I've managed to accumulate over the weekend.

The rain doesn't help.

It just makes me feel lonelier.

Neiher does watching a love movie about surmounting difficulties to be together in the end.

It just make me miss someone even more.

I just feel restless, I know i have plenty of things to finish, yet I'm unable to get myself to do them.

Happier

I've been feeling much happier lately. i think buying the ticket really helped, being able to get more sleep, and finally exercising regularly helped.

I was on the bus home today, and i decided to cook dinner for myself. Part of my save money, eat healthy plan. And as I was thinking, I started to think about how our future house would have a spice rack full of stuff like basil, oregano, etc. And I was definitely daydreaming as I thought of how you said that you'll learn how to cook chinese and japanese, and I can go ahead and learn western. And I remembered how I cooked dinner for you. And how you went, "Oh my gosh, I didn't know you could do this." From there I carried on to think about how I would love to surprise you by cooking dinner for you in the future.

Damn, I'm so domesticated.

Oh, here's a photo of what I cooked today. Doesn't look too good does it? It tasted alright though. It's chicken if you can't tell.

My niece, Elyse

My nephew, Rae

Narcissism 3

Narcissism 2

Narcissism

Accomplishment

I woke at 9.30 today, went for a swim, met Jeremy at the pool, got my air ticket to Japan. :)

I'm a happy man now.

The bible is elastic?

A friend sent me a "short" sound clip concerning the Bible.

http://www.sydneyanglicans.net/images/uploads/mp3/Answering_Wrong_Assumptions/01_The_Bible_is_Elastic.mp3

It seems that everything that "endorses" the bible is the bible itself. The new testament at the very least. The old testament has the endorsement of Jesus Christ which we learn from the Bible.

And that depends on whether a person believes that the bible is the Word of God. As he put it, "book, Jesus, Scripture". You can read the book, but you need to believe and accept Jesus Christ before it becomes more than just a book. It's still about faith in the end.

I do agree on the point that religion should not be forced upon a person. Yet sometimes, when Christians learn that I'm a non-believer, they do get a certain gleam in their eyes.

My parents are pretty open minded, or maybe I should say non-religious minded. They do have certain ceremonies which are rooted in religion, but when they perform such ceremonies, it feels less religious and more traditions. They perform them because they were thought to do so by their parents (my grand parents), and the most amazing thing is that they never forced us to partake in such ceremonies. I guess you might say that they're not very devout, but it also means that they've seen that religion is a part of life, and not a way of life.

And that is one of the lessons that I've learned from them.

That religion should complement life, and not to have your life conforming to your religion or to have your religion become your life.

Mixing in a group which thinks the same things, believe in the same beliefs is good, but you're just setting yourself up for a life in which it'll be difficult to encounter new ideas and new beliefs. In the end, you become less whole as a person, which is what I believe God does not want.

Rainy Scene

I've been feeling like the weather lately. Mostly rainy or overcast, with occasional periods of sunshine.

Phonecall

A simple phonecall helps.

Weddings

Today, I went to a cousin's wedding dinner. Without any reason, I started to miss you. I was asking my brother whether he has any winter wear to lend me in december for my Japan trip, my dad went "why are you going to Japan? You keep going overseas!" I didn't know what to say. He does not know that I've been doing my best to keep my spending to a minimum so that I'll be able to fund my trip, I've been spending less than 10 bucks a week.

I think nobody knows how torn I am at this point in time. They know that I've gotten some savings from my tuition jobs, so they've stop giving me money. They do not know that I've been trying to ask for as little money as possible, even if it means skipping meals, or bringing sandwiches to school.

But sometimes, my attempts to cut down my expenses have resulted in very difficult decisions.

I want to go to Japan, but sometimes i wonder if it is really wise to do so.

Today

I felt really happy today. i enjoyed myself totally. I never realised how much you can miss a friend who's been away. Even though he is irritating and gets on my nerves from time to time.

I really had a great time today, from badminton, to dinner, to talking in the cosy Happy Days (Daze?). It really feels like mukashi again. I miss being able to talk to the two person I trust most, at the same time.

I know some people will say, there's always the internet and MSN messenger, but it just quite feel the same. When I talk to someone, I like to talk to the person face to face. Even talking on the phone feels weird to me.

We talk about a great many things, from things such as sex drive to topics such as religion. I believe that faith is something that cannot be forced, yet I'm quite amazed at how much a difference it can actually make in a person. Yet i cannot forsee following any religion. I guess in a way, I just do not have the faith to believe. Skepticism has already become the way I live my life.

I wish to believe too, yet I believe that I should not believe for any other reason other than that I believe. Not for her, not for anyone, but for myself. For those who have yet to figure out, she's christian, and although she has never tried to get me to convert, I know that it's her greatest wish to see the person she loves to have the same set of values too. I would love to do that, but i cannot do that while my own mind is shouting at me everytime I attempt to try and understand.

So far, I've seen it as a threat, a farce or simply a difference of opinion. I'm envious of those who can believe so unwaveringly, but at the same time, I know that is not the path for me. I guess I'll need to carve out my own spiritual path, for the threaded paths are not for me.

Right now, I'm simply struggling with the idea of God. The idea of a benevolent God strikes me as being impossible. For the same God is also the one who demanded sacrifices.

And the idea of holy scriptures be it the Koran, the bible or any other religious scripture. I cannot understand why people are able to believe so undoubtingly the truth of the book. For to me, a book is imperfect, contact with humans over time changes the book, the interpretation of books changes with time. I can only say that it's because of faith, that people are able to believe in such books so unwaveringly, and i guess the reason for my skepticism is that I've lost my faith at some point in the past. I simply cannot accept something on faith alone, especially something that tells of miracles and angels.

2005年 10月 13日

雨でした。

今日、雨が降った。
起きるとき、まだ雨が降った。
起きたくない。

今日、寂しかった。
どうして一人でここにいる？
一人で欲しくない。

あの日、悲しかった。
「私を待って。」と言った。
いつも待っている。

あの日、何も言った。
言葉はいらないとおもった。
あなたの夢だから。

時々、昔の物を見た。
あなたのかおを思い出した。
わたしは忘れない。

私を忘れないでください。

note: This is my first attempt at writing in japanese for a purpose other than academic. どぞよるしくお願いします。

They're back

Jack and Karen are back. :)

Have you?

Have you ever missed someone?

It always seems worse when you're alone, doesn't it?

As I'm typing this, I'm feeling terribly alone.

My parents are in Malaysia for the weekend.

I've just recieved news that my students are planning to take a break from my tuition.

Someone is not in Singapore.

My friends all seem to be busy.

I know i should probably get out of the house, but going to Japan won't be cheap, and I want to save every cent I can.

Somehow, having my niece around the house helped alleviate my sense of lonliness, but she's back home now. Playing with her helps to take my mind off my worries.

I wonder if this is how my sister in law feels when my brother has to go overseas for work reasons.

My parents commented that she was being silly when she cried the day my brother went to USA. That it was only for around two weeks. But i understood what she was feeling. It's never easy to be parted from someone you love.

Bus ride

I never realised that a bus ride can be so full of memories.

As the bus slowly made its way through pasir ris, i saw so many things that reminded me of you, and i couldn't help but smile.

Then i remember that I won't be able see you for the next three months at the very least.

I saw the bus stops where we spent time, you waiting with me for my bus to come. I saw the coffee shop where we had supper from time to time. I passed by your house. I passed by the park. I passed so many things that reminded me of us.

I remember how we used to take this bus from Changi after studying together there.

I can't wait for you to be back so that we can do all those things again.