Cycling

To learn, we have to fall. To move forward, we have to be willing to fall. I used to hope that someone will be there to help me stand after I fall. Now I have to stand on my own after every fall... Another night, another dream...

Etymology of Etymology

I believe this site should keep me entertained for a while...

ゆめ

I hate this. I dreamt of someone again, waking up only to find the pillow wet again. I wonder when this will end...

つよし

當我一想到從今以後不會再聽到你叫我「強」...

Now I understand why certain people are single. It's not because they don't want to find someone, it's that they found and lost the person and no one else ever touched their hearts again.

Japanese Spitz

When you said you wanted one too. I smiled. Then I counted to 10 and told myself that it meant nothing. At most I'll hope if we ever get them. They'll be playmates and buddies.

I'll name him Rebel...

失眠

結果還是好想你。

Weekends

Two friends are finally fulfilling their dreams of getting a place together.

I'm really happy for them, but seeing them planning together reminds me of my dreams with you. Something to work towards, something to keep me going through every crappy day at work.

No matter how much I distract myself every weekend, at the end when I realise that the weekend was without you, it always felt as something is missing.

But I understand it's my fault. I'll grow. I'll live my life. Maybe some day I'll be the one you want again.

如果我能重来，我永远不会放手。

Freedom

Blu: You see, who needs flying?

Jewel: Birds! Birds need flying. Flying is... err... freedom, and, and not having to rely on anyone. Don't you want that?

Blu: Hmm, I don't know. Sounds a little lonely.

On a side note: I kept thinking throughout the show, just having the last two birds mating will not save the species, this show does not have a very sound species conservation plan...

My dad

I've always thought that my Mom is one of the luckiest person in the world.
My Dad spoils my mum so much that even my grandma once told him that he shouldn't.
Otherwise my Mom will just not be a very good wife.

When my Mom needs to go grocery shopping, my Dad will drive her there even if it means waking up earlier. If she says she doesn't feel like cooking, he'll just bring us all out for dinner.
When she fell down and fractured her leg, he was the one who helped her wrap the cast up so that it doesn't get wet when she showers.

But I also know that she will be there to make sure he eats. To support him when he struggles to climb up the steps. To apply the medication for him where he is unable to reach.

Their marriage isn't perfect. *They have an imperfect me for a son... *
They have their fair share of arguments and my dad will grumble about my Mom sometimes. And my Mom will complain that my Dad grumbles too much.

But isn't that true of all relationship? No relationship is perfect, it is about two person working together, their strengths making up for the other's weaknesses.

There is no one perfect person, only the person you want to build a life together with, to grow together with.

They are always there to help my brother and sister when they are having troubles with their spouses.
A lot of times, I wish I could have told them about us, maybe if I had, they would have been able to help me see what I should have seen earlier.

Regrets. Something to learn from.
I have always known that I'm a difficult person to love. I grumble, I'm temperamental, I'm needy, I have a fickle heart.

There's a Japanese term that I came across recently, kintsukuroi:

I wonder if it is true for more than just pottery.

没那么简单

最近喜歡上了這首歌、看著MV，不知不覺視線變得模糊、想看也看不清楚了。

黄小琥: 没那么简单

作词：姚若龙
作曲：萧煌奇

没那么简单 就能找到 聊得来的伴
尤其是在 看过了那么多的背叛
总是不安 只好强悍
谁谋杀了我的浪漫

没那么简单 就能去爱 别的全不看
变得实际 也许好也许坏各一半
不爱孤单 一久也习惯
不用担心 谁也不用被谁管

感觉快乐就忙东忙西
感觉累了就放空自己
别人说的话 随便听一听 自己作决定
不想拥有太多情绪
一杯红酒配电影
在周末晚上 关上了手机 舒服窝在沙发里

相爱没有那么容易 每个人有他的脾气
过了爱作梦的年纪 轰轰烈烈不如平静
幸福没有那么容易 才会特别让人着迷
什么都不懂的年纪
曾经最掏心 所以最开心 曾经

没那么简单 就能去爱 别的全不看
变得实际 也许好也许坏各一半
不爱孤单 一久也习惯
不用担心 谁也不用被谁管

感觉快乐就忙东忙西
感觉累了就放空自己
别人说的话 随便听一听 自己作决定
不想拥有太多情绪
一杯红酒配电影
在周末晚上 关上了手机 舒服窝在沙发里

相爱没有那么容易 每个人有他的脾气
过了爱作梦的年纪 轰轰烈烈不如平静
幸福没有那么容易 才会特别让人着迷
什么都不懂的年纪
曾经最掏心 所以最开心 曾经

相爱没有那么容易 每个人有他的脾气
过了爱作梦的年纪 轰轰烈烈不如平静
幸福没有那么容易 才会特别让人着迷
什么都不懂的年纪
曾经最掏心 所以最开心 曾经
想念最伤心 但却最动心 的记忆

Wait

I asked a friend is it silly of me to wait?

He told me "Nope, but it's silly to hope."

Hoping and waiting are 2 different things.

Talking to him, I came to this conclusion:

If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

Maybe I'm just a bit of a romantic.

Am I still hoping? Maybe, but I'm doing my best to extinguish that hope everyday.

Am I still going to wait if there's no hope?

I thought about the worst case scenario of this decision, and it doesn't look all that bad to me.

Dreaming

Dreamt a little last night,
what surprised me, is that I remembered,
For I rarely dream, and it's unusual for me to remember

Perhaps it was the cuteness that stuck,
or the scratch marks that were inflicted,
but I remembered.

A cute little kitten walked into my life,
I wanted so much to cuddle it and hold it close to me,
but I was afraid of getting scratched.

For even though I knew it loved me back,
I held back, fearing the day it might lost control
and scratch me without meaning to

I'm still surprised I remember this dream.
Perhaps it's telling me I'm still afraid.
Perhaps it's telling me to trust.
Perhaps it's just a dream about a kitten and scratches.

Parents

This morning, I woke up a little later than usual.
By the time I woke up, the little ones had gone for their swim, so only my parents were left in the house.
I walked into the living room to see my dad sitting on the couch, and my mum lying on his lap, sleeping. When I asked if mum was ok, dad simply said, "She woke up very early!".

Although it might not seem that way, but my parents are a big influence in the way that I view the world.
From them I learnt how religion is part of life and not a way of life.
I learnt that two very different person can have a life together, and that arguments are a part of any relationship.
I have learnt how a parent's love can supersede what others might think.
They have taught me that not saying "I love you" out loud doesn't mean that there is no love.
They have shown me what I want my future to be like. A simple life, with someone by my side, who will wake up too early on a Sunday morning, and spend the late morning lying on my lap, sleeping.

Family

My family will always be yours if you are willing regardless of what we become...

All in

Sometimes in life, there are moments when you just know you have to go all in.
Always loved the following song from RPM, so I thought I would share.

Sometimes...

... Telling yourself something over and over and over again is the only way that you might start believing in it. 

HIMYM

Watched the final episode.

Even if you had a great life with the love of your life with 2 kids, you will never forget the person you stole the blue french horn for.

Random stuff

You know you're a big nerd when you read about Gunkan Jima, Kola Superdeep Borehole and ALMA, and the first thought is "COOL!" and the second? "I wonder if that place is open to tourists..."