Choices

Today, i recieved the result of the streaming exercise. I managed to get into electrical engineering. Eventhough it is my preferred choice, i am not really all that estactical about it. For a simple reason. I do not wish to become an engineer of any kind. neither electrical nor biological. I'm struggling even with my first year's workload. Maths that i have trouble understanding, physics that i loathe to comprehend. Seriously, i do not think that i'll ever become anything more than a adequate engineer.

I cringe whenever i think of myself as an engineer, i would not trust any product that emerges from my hands, for fear that it will explode in my face even as i'm using it. i chose engineering simply because it is a "professional" degree, not out of any real interest on my part. And that engineering might be able to support my future extravagant lifestyle. And of course, a degree is what everyone works towards. Isn't that what the singapore government advocates?

I'm pretty much a product of the Singapore education system. i work towards the goals that the government wants us to achieve. A Degree in engineering. Sigh. I feel so used. Yet i cannot be ungrateful, for without the government's "help" i probably won't be sitting here typing this. And i would not have the dream of being an author. To bring a little bit of escapism to people's drudge of a life.