七月

七月、誰かシンガポールに帰る。ほんとうに楽しみにしている。いくら一週間以下いても、もう嬉しくなる。でもシンガポールにいるとき、君は忙しいかもしれないから、会う時間があまりないだと思う。それに働かなければならないから、会う時間は夜だけ。

でも、七月プレースメントテストを受けるから、心配だ。準備はまだ完了しない。

昨夜、僕の親友が泣いていた。何をしたほうがいいか知らなかった。無用の友だ、僕は。

Blink blink

That's how I reacted when I read "we're on talking terms" on MSN. I blinked, then I blinked somemore.

Someone decided to give someone another chance. Despite the sheer absurdity of the reason for the break up. I won't go into the reason, since I don't think it's appropriate for me to reveal it.

Extension!?

Today, my supervisor suddenly asked me whether I would like to extend my internship,to September. I'm thinking that he must be really desperate to want me to stay on his project. I'm wondering if I should. Or maybe it just means that he feels that I'm up to the job. Yah right, I wish.

On another note, someone is sick. Sad. Nothing I can do. Actually there's not much I can do even if someone is in Singapore, except accompany to the doctor's and moral support and to worry.

6 more minutes to knock off as I'm typing. Got my program up and running, running the simulations now.

Cereal Prawns

My mum cooked cereal prawns today. And it was really good. It was so good that I ate the whole prawn shell and all.

Me!!!

Took this photo during Jem's birthday party. I like it, even though the skin is oily, the eyes are closed and the hair is ugly.
Where's the birthday boy you ask? Behind the camera unfortunately. :)

Why?

Happy post? I guess so, it feels that one has been long overdue. :)

As much as i like looking at young nubike things( yes dear, I do look and I'm sorry.) I know that a certain someone is the one and only one for me.

A friend was telling me about how long distance relationship is a potential pit fall for relationships due to reasons known to all( I hope ).

At one point I was pretty worried and I got angry. I know you've forgiven me, and I'm grateful for that.

A friend(a fellow scorpio) gave me an insight into a scorpio's personailty, and I think it's quite accurate, Scorpios are a possesive bunch. So he advised me to loosen up, let her have fun, trust her, I'm trying, it ain't easy, but I'm trying.

Conversely, I realise that I'm not under a very tight rein at all, any restrictions I have are mostly due to myself, temptations abounds, and I know that I should never put myself in a situation where I might get tempted.

SOOOOO, I might like looking at young nubile things, but at the end of the day I look forward to conversing with you( when you're not acting silly ), a perfectionist, a scatter brain, a dreamer, and the love of my life.

* hmmm, that last line seems to be a bit mushy. But I like it. haha.

Break

最近ちょっと時間があまりないから、ブログを書けなかった。何をする？働いている。毎日、コンピューターを見て、プログラムをやって、目が疲れるようになる。だから、うちへ帰った後で、コンピューターを見たくなくて、ブログもやりたくない。日本語でやりたいだが、英語でやったほうが速いだろう。だからここから、英語を使う。

Been feeling kind of down recently. Got my results, My CAP went down again. Oh well, at least I didn't fail.

I think i might have over reacted a few nights back. But I just got my results, and I wasn't feeling great when you called. I was tired from work, tired from seeing my crappy result, tired of always having to wait for you to end your parties. I'm so tired. Heard the news that a friend broke up, he tried to look happy when I saw him on saturday, yet I could sense his unhappiness, his sadness. Also found out that another friend is back together with the person he broke up with. I could sense his unhappiness too. So we went to dance the night away. To try and forget our problems and our sadness.

I'm getting way too old to still be clubbing, I think it's time I stop, isn't it time for you to stop as well?

Haha, I feel so silly, I think I should start a diary soon, one where I can really write how I really feel, one where I'll read 10 years later, smiling and cringing as I do so.

I know this blog ain't it, I compose my posts with the utmost care to preserve the anomymity of the people involved, and to compose my thoughts in such a way so as not to offend people.

I wonder if I should stop? I don't see anymore meaning in blogging.

I think I'll take a break from now, until my spirits are higher, and my words cheerier, and my life interesting.

Empty

I keep wanting to blog, but my life just hasn't been interesting enough to blog about.
The most noticeable event is that I'm done with my exams. :)

And the realization that we do not argue like normal couples.
We do not like to talk about the stuff that bothers us,
we just keep quiet.

Bad for the relationship huh?
I agree, but there's nothing I can really do, I can try to talk about stuff, but i figure we'll probably just end up not talking about it.

We're both too non-confrontational.
I hate it.

Long distance relationships. What do I think of it?
It sucks.
There's no intimacy.
And there's a very big difference between talking to you on the phone and talking to you lying by my side.
There's no one to go to when I'm feeling down.

That's why I've decided, I'll not take up a job that'll take me away from you. Not even for a few days.

Sometimes, I wonder am I being silly to give up things, take up things for you. I would like to think I'm not. One person in a relationship has to give more, all that about equal relationship is bull shit. It is not attainable.

Am I the one giving more? It feels like it sometimes, but I can't be sure that is the case.

Sometimes I do wonder, what do you see in me?
I can't really see anything good in myself.
That is why I try my best to be good to you.

Exams

tomorrow my exams starts.
I got scolded the other day.
Why? Because I said to someone that I didn't feel like studying.
And i felt happy to be scolded.

明日試験が始まる。
この間、僕が誰かにしかれた。
何故？僕が誰かに勉強したくないと言ったから。
僕はしかれたのは嬉しかったと思ってた。

Sometimes...

... I'm just not sensitive enough.

Somebody said that I'm not known for my sympathy, and I think that isn't true.
I sympathize, but not when it is not going to do the person any good.

I scold because I love. But I must admit I go overboard at times.

But I find it irritating when someone does silly things and complains about it after.
Maybe I hate it because I'm prone to doing it as well. But I'm trying to outgrow it.

I'll only scold those that matter to me.
Because I don't want the people i care about to be hurt, or tired from their own (in my opinion) bad decisions.

Understand a bit more of me today.
Know my intentions, I do not ever mean to hurt.