Break

最近ちょっと時間があまりないから、ブログを書けなかった。何をする？働いている。毎日、コンピューターを見て、プログラムをやって、目が疲れるようになる。だから、うちへ帰った後で、コンピューターを見たくなくて、ブログもやりたくない。日本語でやりたいだが、英語でやったほうが速いだろう。だからここから、英語を使う。

Been feeling kind of down recently. Got my results, My CAP went down again. Oh well, at least I didn't fail.

I think i might have over reacted a few nights back. But I just got my results, and I wasn't feeling great when you called. I was tired from work, tired from seeing my crappy result, tired of always having to wait for you to end your parties. I'm so tired. Heard the news that a friend broke up, he tried to look happy when I saw him on saturday, yet I could sense his unhappiness, his sadness. Also found out that another friend is back together with the person he broke up with. I could sense his unhappiness too. So we went to dance the night away. To try and forget our problems and our sadness.

I'm getting way too old to still be clubbing, I think it's time I stop, isn't it time for you to stop as well?

Haha, I feel so silly, I think I should start a diary soon, one where I can really write how I really feel, one where I'll read 10 years later, smiling and cringing as I do so.

I know this blog ain't it, I compose my posts with the utmost care to preserve the anomymity of the people involved, and to compose my thoughts in such a way so as not to offend people.

I wonder if I should stop? I don't see anymore meaning in blogging.

I think I'll take a break from now, until my spirits are higher, and my words cheerier, and my life interesting.

Empty

I keep wanting to blog, but my life just hasn't been interesting enough to blog about.
The most noticeable event is that I'm done with my exams. :)

And the realization that we do not argue like normal couples.
We do not like to talk about the stuff that bothers us,
we just keep quiet.

Bad for the relationship huh?
I agree, but there's nothing I can really do, I can try to talk about stuff, but i figure we'll probably just end up not talking about it.

We're both too non-confrontational.
I hate it.

Long distance relationships. What do I think of it?
It sucks.
There's no intimacy.
And there's a very big difference between talking to you on the phone and talking to you lying by my side.
There's no one to go to when I'm feeling down.

That's why I've decided, I'll not take up a job that'll take me away from you. Not even for a few days.

Sometimes, I wonder am I being silly to give up things, take up things for you. I would like to think I'm not. One person in a relationship has to give more, all that about equal relationship is bull shit. It is not attainable.

Am I the one giving more? It feels like it sometimes, but I can't be sure that is the case.

Sometimes I do wonder, what do you see in me?
I can't really see anything good in myself.
That is why I try my best to be good to you.